I met several people in the past week who are holding on to their substances or failing relationships as if they will save them from the drudgery of every day life. One of the most limiting beliefs people with addictions have, (whether they are to substances or to bad relationships) is that after they stop using their substance or end their dramatic relationship, they will have to go back to normal life, a normal job and do the normal things that people do. This is a big block to abstinence and recovery. It does not have to be the case. There are many jobs out there who are interesting and exciting, and not the standard 9-5, 5 days a week jobs.
The need for excitement and mental stimulation is probably one of the main factors that drive a person to start using substances and to get involved with dramas. Then it is also the main factor that sustains substance use and intense relationships. There is a deep underlying fear that if nothing is used, life will be boring and mundane, full of duties and responsibilities, without any fun, pleasure, adventure. This fear perpetuates use because there are no other visible alternatives. Either the boring normal life which is healthy but tedious and uneventful or the exciting life which is unhealthy but eventful, colourful and exciting.
And… there is a very clear and real alternative – substance free life plus excitement minus a boring job.
There are so many interesting and exciting jobs, which take people from all walks of life, and which provide training, without the need for previous education or experience.
Life is meant to be exciting and vibrant and joyful. Reach out for it and set yourself free from any limiting beliefs.
Ok, so, you love each other but things are not working between you two. These techniques are only for those who feel love for their partner or partner to be and are searching for a way to heal the relationship. Rose petals criminal is the fastest, most effective technique I have discovered so far and after receiving consistent results from it, I am now ready to share it with you.
So, what is this Rose Petals Criminal about? That was me, when I invented it and it can be also you. This technique begins by imagining your beloved man or a woman in a haze of rose and yellow beams radiating from your heart. This in itself is a separate technique which I use as the basis for all other techniques. So, you imagine that your heart radiates love in the form of pink and yellow waves, beaming pink and yellow colours. Now, very important here is that the waves leave your heart and do not protrude from your heart. Why? Because this is important symbolic encoding that your waves that you radiate are not seeking to grab someone, to form an attachment with them. If they protrude from the heart and stretch and extend to the beloved man/woman, they will be like claws or hooks trying to catch him/her and bring them. So, it is very important that there is no seeking of attachment whatsoever. This is the most important factor for this technique to work. All the love that is radiating from the heart must leave the heart in the form of beams, sparkles, waves or whatever your imagination produces, and they completely disconnect from your heart as they begin to travel to your beloved one. So, you just relax, and beam rose and pink waves to him/her. Then as the waves approach him/her, imagine that they shower him/her, that they embalm him/her, that they swirl around him/her, that they fill him/her. Just don’t direct the waves to his/her heart. Let the waves of your love play and love him/her without any goal. This is absolutely compulsory – no goal in mind, this is an unconditional gift from you to him/her. From then on, use your imagination and create other gifts for him/her if you wish. This stage here is very important to allow your imagination to produce visual and energetic gifts from your love. For example, the last time I practiced this, I created a pink box of daisies. They were very fresh daisies and the box was candy pink, which had a taste and a fragrance. So the pink and yellow waves of my love made this sweet pink box of daisies and delivered it to him as a parcel. He opened the parcel and received my gift. Then I sent him 5,000 cats infused with my love, flying in his direction. Continue producing other gifts with your imagination and keep sending them to him/her. And then, the time comes for a nice ending of the transmission, which can be done in many different styles. Let your feelings guide you what style of ending you want to do. As my feelings are very strong for my beloved man, they felt like the sound effects in Mad Max. This film has the loudest sound effects in the film world, louder than Bollywood even. So I produced a hard core industrial ending in Mad Max style. I jumped on a lorry, I loaded the lorry with rose petals and I drove the lorry to his house like Mad Max. I stopped the lorry breaking sharp, at his front garden. I emptied the massive load rose petals in his front garden and watched how the petals covered half of his house and part of the street outside. Some entered the house through the open windows. The shouldn’t be a goal here for the petals to do anything. Just let them be there and let them move naturally as they would in such a situation. As I dumped the rose petals in his garden, I enjoyed the sight briefly and then jumped on the lorry and drove off fast, like a criminal who has dumped an illegal load. Why is that important? Again to encode the energy with non-attachment. The mission was to dump the load and run away. Not to dump the load and stay there and wait for an outcome. I operationalise the concept of non-attachment with an image of a criminal because I need a very strong powerful encoding of my energy with non-attachment. The purpose of this energy healing is not to make our beloved man/woman to like us more, love us more. The purpose of this practice is to give 100% pure unconditional love to them, without being attached to an outcome, and by being prepared that the ending is more likely. The purpose is not to bring separated people together, but to heal them and ourselves with pure unconditional love. Then and only then, the relationship will heal if it has the potential to heal, and the partners will be reunited in the 3-dimensional reality if that is meant to be. So don’t aim for 3-dimensional outcome, just radiate pure love to them, and then the separation or the ill feelings between the partners will be healed. Enjoy, and let me know how it went for you.
So the ending has arrived or you are thinking of making the ending and you feel that you have to because there is no future between you two, or because they have not treated you right, because you are exhausted from all the arguments or because of another reason. So you have used your discernment, you have projected the relationship in the future, and you have reached the cognitive decision to end the relationship or they have made that decision and you are on the receiving end. It is tough either way because you still love them, and your heart does not seem to understand your reasons, and it feels pain, sharp or heavy pain in the heart and chest area. Because of this pain many people do not start new relationships easily and choose to stay lonely for a very long time. This pain becomes the synonym of love to them, and they think ‘Love hurts, I don’t need love any more’.
This pain is not from feeling love for someone, it is pain from restricting our heart to feel love for someone, because we have assessed them cognitively that they do not deserve our love, that they do not treat us right, that we you are not compatible, that you are too different etc etc. And that is great to be able to see the reality of a relationship with sober eyes and to be strong enough to stand up for ourselves and to stand up for our future and long-term wellbeing, and not to trade them for the passion of today. That is awesome work. Where most people go wrong from there, is, once they have made the assessment that the other person is not worth of their love because of the way they have treated them and once they have made the decision to end the relationship, they then start trying to stop feeling love for them. And they start using the facts from the 3-dimensional reality to justify why they will stop feeling love for them. “I can’t love someone who does that to me, I can’t love him/her if I am ending the relationship, that will be too painful”. So in their cognitive attempt to protect themselves from the pain they actually create the pain. Because everything that we resist persists. This is a law of human existence. It is not given to us to control our feelings and to adjust them as per our cognitive observations, insights and decisions.
So the solution of your problem with still loving them despite…. is very simple. You allow yourself to love them. You don’t try to stop loving them. You don’t go cognitive trying to justify why you should not love them. You have done your cognitive work that has brought the ending of the relationship and that has been great, self-affirming and long-term wise and astute assessment. But after you have done it, leave the cognitive work to one side and listen to your feelings and acknowledge your feelings. And give voice to your feelings instead of shutting them down. If you still love them – you allow yourself to continue loving them.
Feeling love for someone is not a 3-dimensional physical behaviour. You don’t have to do anything to express your love. You just feel the love. Allow your heart to love them. Many people complain from being hurt from the endings and from Love in general, many people leave relationships bruised and make themselves lonely after that because they felt too much pain in their last relationship and they do not want to do Love any more. Love is too painful for them. And that is not the solution. That is a sad interpretation of Love. Love does not bring any pain to the carrier. Constriction of the heart, telling ourselves not to feel love for someone because they are not worth it, that is what gives pain to the heart. When we assess that someone is not good for us and we tell ourselves not to love them and we feel the pain so strong, so strong. This pain is not from the love for them. This pain is from the constriction. I did not know that until I allowed myself to love them. I felt very strong pain in my heart and chest area because of unrequited love and I was so scared. That pain was not going away. Day after day, week after week, the pain was strong. And I hated Love. I asked Love: “why did you come in my life, to hurt me so much, what good are you?” Until one day I decided to try one more thing. After doing everything else and nothing had worked, I decided to let my heart love him. Just allowed my heart to love him. We had stopped being in touch, there was no more expression of my love towards him but I allowed myself to love him. And all the pain disappeared. My heart was glad. And that is how I learned: allowing the heart to love is its own reward. It does not want any more rewards. It just wants to love. It is happiest when it loves. And that is how I learned where the pain came from. From constricting the heart and from confusing our profound sacred feeling of Love with behavioural expressions, and expecting that once the behavioural expressions stop, the feeling has to stop as well, and that is – it gets even sillier- because we want to protect ourselves from being hurt. This is the logic of our mind which speaks the language of logic. It does not understand the language of the heart so it is just doing its best in its capacity, to protect us. And we need to love the mind because the mind is innocent and it is constantly doing its best in its capacity to protect us. I do not support any negativity towards the mind. Where most people go wrong is that they listen only to the mind and they don’t listen to the heart. The heart does not have logic. I know I am not the only one, and men are always so puzzled with women, when we choose very wrong guys to be on the receiving end of our love. No one understands this because everyone is engaging their mind and its logical reasoning capacity, to understand something which does not have any logic. The heart does not have logic. The heart does not understand discernment either. The heart just wants to love. The heart wants to love everybody. If you listen to your heart and you allow your heart to love – you will see that your heart enjoys loving everyone, all the people in the world, all the animals in the world, all the plants in the world, all the planets around us, all the satellites of the planets around us, all the stars, all the galaxies. This is how the heart loves – all inclusively and indiscriminately. So if you want to heal emotional-physical pain of the heart – you need to understand where the pain comes from, and you need to slow down and start listening to the heart and start communicating with the heart. Ask your heart at any point in time what it feels like doing, what it feels most comfortable with. Ask, listen and act. Act according to the wishes and desires and calls of the heart. Trust the heart that it has wisdom which will not hurt you. Trust the heart that it knows best what is good for you. If you had trusted the heart and had made your choices according to your heart – you would not have ended up in a situation where the emotions are loud and the heart is in pain. The heart would have been very happy if you had trusted it before, if you had listened to it before and it would have rewarded you with creating the best reality for you, the most suitable people, the easiest and most pleasant circumstances. The heart does not believe in tough circumstances that teach you to grow. No. We create the tough circumstances for us when we don’t listen to our heart and then we grow tremendously from them, and we think they are necessary for our growth. The reason why that has worked to our favour is because all roads lead to enlightenment. But, there are easier roads than others. Exactly because all roads lead to enlightenment, we don’t need to choose the toughest possible reality for us. The easier roads will also lead us to enlightenment in much smoother and comfortable ways. The easiest road is the road of the Heart. Ask, listen and act according to the heart and you will enter the easiest of circumstances and the easiest of people to deal with, whether that is in relationships or at work, on holidays, on the roads, on the trains, on the planes. When you listen to your heart and have the bravery to act according to the heart, you enter a natural state of alignment between you and the surrounding environment and from there on the sky is the limit. People, events, circumstances run to you to help you and to support you and even in the most neutral level – you are become surrounded only by pleasant and compatible people with who you have pleasant and mutually supportive relationships. The difference is so great that it is impossible to ignore. When you listen and act to the wishes of your heart – the shifts of reality happen very fast.
I often ask clients to write a list of ingredients of their ideal relationship and ideal partner. Then something happens: they put their hand in front of them as if to protect the secrecy of their writing and their whole body language becomes stiff and closed with the thought of having to share that in the group or just with me.
I know straight away that person will not get the partner they want for as long as they put that protective secrecy veil over their deep authentic wishes and desires, that concrete wall they have built between their wishes, wants and desires and the rest of the world, and themselves. Yes many people do not admit even to themselves what kind of partner they want and they dream about. Because they are judging themselves or are scared that they will be judged by others if they state their wants openly and honestly. The problem with that wall is that it does not protect the wishes in a safe place, it keeps the wishes away from gaining 3-dimensional form. To make a wish come true, to turn it from a wish to a real 3-dimensional person, it needs to be made clear to the Universe what exactly it is, and voicing it and putting it into words is one most common way to do that. Without that clarity the wish is ambiguous in the person’s mind and for as long it is ambiguous it will not be powerful enough to gain 3-dimensional form. Clarity with ourselves, and with others is the most important factor in manifesting the relationship we want. Clarity equals energy, equals power, equals straighforwardness, equals straight direction, equals simplicity, and all of these are cathalist for fast change. Imagine a stream springs from the top of a mountain. It wants to go to the ocean at the foot of the mountain, so it flows in a very direct stream. And now imagine a stream which springs at the top of a mountain and it prefers to go around the mountain, to explore other sides of the mountain. So it spirals around the mountain and it spirals around the mountain, and it gets weaker and weaker and may even dry by the time it reaches the ocean. This is what happens when we do not have clarity about who we want and why we want them. If someone does not feel comfortable to admit to themselves who they want, the Universe will not give them who they want because we live in a benevolent Universe which does not want to make us feel uncomfortable. If someone feels comfortable within themselves about who they want and they trust that there is a wisdom in that wish and that will lead them to the highest good, then they will manifest exactly the kind of man/woman they want. And when that comfort and sincerity is extended to sharing their wishes with other people around them – the statistical likelihood is also higher. Who knows, may be their friend knows someone who is exactly like that. Voicing the wishes openly to oneself and the world is also a transition to making them real. The voice is real. The voice is of the 3-dimensional reality. Giving silence to desires is one of the most unloving, unkind, unsupportive and self-destructive thing a person can do to themselves.